How to turn a single man into a married-to-you man

If you consider yourself a feminist or support what feminism stands for, you may need to brace yourself right now. A new dating guide, Single Man, Married Man, written by eight African-American men, is an in-your-face read about how a woman can win a man and get him to the altar. It’s filled with “old-fashioned” advice on how to cater to and stroke a guy’s ego—because according to the authors, this is a sure way to his heart and eventual commitment.

Single Man, Married Man made its New Year’s debut on Fox and Friends—where the hosts instructed women to “listen up” and recommended the guide’s wisdom for the basis of their New Year’s resolutions. They discussed how loving acts can make a man love a woman more, which leads to his desire for greater commitment. They emphasized that women should perform loving acts and sprinkle him with compliments, without expecting a quid pro quo—instead, it should just be because she cares about him and his happiness.

I agree that they have this half right. Each partner benefits when the other is loving, supportive, freely bestows loving gestures, and positive affirmations. However, happy marriage requires two people participating in both the giving and receiving. Yes, this is good advice—for men and women alike.

So ladies if your goal is to find one good man for marriage and more, don’t discount what these men are saying. Just make sure you find a man who can give as well as he gets. Now that is a marriage made in heaven.

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of http://consum-mate.com Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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