Tis the season for getting engaged and breaking up

According to data gathered from Facebook users a few years back, August through October are the safest times to be in a relationship. By this, I mean that there are fewer break-ups during these months that the rest of the year. This data also showed that the greatest number of break-ups occur very close to Christmas—often between Thanksgiving and the other major winter holidays, or immediately following the safe months. Therefore it is especially interesting that theknot.com, a site for those getting engaged, has found that December ranks #1 for couples getting engaged.

So what all this data comes down to is that people either say “I’m out of here,” during the holidays, or they decide that this is “the one” and take a big step towards commitment. Therefore, even though these statistics may appear to be confusing or contradictory on the surface, if you look at what is behind them, they make perfect sense. The holidays are a time that we examine our relationships and perhaps because it is such a family-centered time of year—it pushes us to look at our relationships and assess if they are right for us and are a good fit for where we see ourselves years from now.

Along with all the family focus during these holidays are traditions, memories from childhood, and special gift-giving. We are surrounded by other couples and families and want to be connected to them and to share in all that family offers. If our relationship isn’t a good fit, it will be harder to ignore or gloss over during family gatherings and when surrounded by those who are getting engaged and talking about all they mean to one another and their hopes and dreams for a shared future life.

When hanging out on an August beach, getting back to real life after summer’s end, or just enjoying those more carefree days of summer and early fall—reality can take a back seat to fun and convenience. Not so when Thanksgiving arrives.

Reinforcing this argument is another break-up statistic—Valentine’s Day is also break-up day for many. Why is this? When the spotlight is on this day, all the hype, happy lovers, promises of forever, hearts, flowers, and romance either feel very right or very wrong. When it is the latter, people break-up, hoping that they will then be able to find and experience what all those happy lovers around them seem to have found.

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of http://consum-mate.com Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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