It’s often said that meeting that right someone has as much to do with luck and timing as it does with careful thought, planning and strategy. I agree that there is much truth in this statement- yet I know how hard that is for many singles to hear and accept. After all, how can you control luck and timing? You can’t- but you can put yourself into new situations and reach out for new experiences that will help you to be in the right place at the right time. Now you may be wondering what in the world I am saying here, so let me use an example.
Virtually everyone is aware of the “Occupy” movement. There are camps in major cities around the country (and even the world)- where people of many different ages are going to live out their protest against big business, the wealthy, and anyone who (in their belief) is one of the privileged 1% of the population. They have banded together, erecting elaborate tent cities and forging a shared identity as that of the oppressed 99%. They have established rules for behavior and governance- and their tent cities have food, medical and community meeting areas. They even have folks who handle PR with the community and interface with police and their elected leaders. In other words, they have established a common cause, sense of identity and become a sub group within the larger culture.
So, it’s only natural that within this environment, love will flourish. After all, their housing is primitive and communal, they must work closely together for the good of the group- and their shared passion is a great aphrodisiac. Unlike their peers, they are not living in communities where many people go about their very separate lives, rarely interacting or getting to know their neighbors. They need each other and they all share a common purpose and reason for being there. There is no way not to get to know one another- as they have repeated contact, help each other out with daily tasks, and interact in a way that singles bars and other social events don’t allow for.
Now, I’m not suggesting you become an “Occupier.” What I am saying is that we can learn from their experience through examining the elements that enable more open and intimate relating. The veneer that layers our busy and disconnected existence needs to be stripped away- leaving us open to new possibilities that are rarely present in our “real lives.”
So, what can a single person do to achieve this? I have always recommended people pursue a passion in order to maximize their opportunity to meet someone they can relate to. (right time). I have also suggested activities that give you the opportunity to let your guard down and that challenge you and help you become part of a like-minded group (right place). Perhaps extreme sports where we must rely on one another physically as well as emotionally, or volunteering to be part of a group that helps build houses or works in a disadvantaged community- or any of the many volunteer opportunities that push us outside of our comfort zone and strip away the carefully laid veneer- and just allow us to be us, and to be one with those around us.
So, let this be a year where you think outside the box, find something new to experience- and push against the boundaries of your comfort zone. Love could be a new experience away if you happen along at the right time.