HBO is coming out with a new series titled “Girls,” that is a little bit “Sex and the City,” a little bit “Looking for Mr. Goodbar,” and a little bit “50 Shades of Grey.” It features a single, professional and sexually open Brooklyn woman who engages in submissive, depersonalized, demeaning sex- all the while talking about the need to be like men and not allow herself to feel too much or expect any emotional closeness in her relationship.
If this is an accurate portrayal of current dating trends and attitudes as the writer of this series suggests, it would seem that women have come a long way in the boardroom yet have taken many steps backwards in the bedroom. Was feminism really about making women be just like men as the lead character and her friends in “Girls” appear to be trying to do? Or have women somehow taken a very wrong turn that is leading them to an emotionally unfulfilling and lonely place?
Perhaps women are growing weary of all the pressure to compete and achieve their hard earned equality. They are attending college and earning four year degrees at a higher rate than their male counterparts. Many women are also becoming the breadwinners for their families, earning more than their spouses or being the sole breadwinner while their spouse stays home to raise the kids. Often, working women also carry most of the family and household responsibilities if their spouse works outside of the home- effectively having two full time jobs. Nice work, Gloria- got any other great ideas.
If it is true that women are looking for a way to deal with their new role- sexual submission, and sex for fun with no complications may offer them a chance to role play as the weaker sex, or to just turn off their biologically driven feelings and try to enjoy meaningless, uncomplicated sex that they don’t have to work too hard at or worry about the consequences afterwards.
Wow, if this is a new normal for young women, then I’m happy to be from an older generation when it was ok to be who we really were, to lean on guys for support and sustenance sometimes, to dream about romance and love and set these as goals for our dating life. We knew we were intelligent and capable, we pursued higher education and our career choices- and we knew what we wanted in our relationships and didn’t compromise on the important stuff or sell ourselves short. I think we also knew we couldn’t “have it all,” that in fact, there is no such thing. So, compromising for the chance at happy love and marriage was acceptable and sometimes the right choice for the life we wanted.