Happy endings may begin with a relationship contract

The NY Times has an interesting Modern Love column running now. It’s titled; To Stay in Love, Sign on the Dotted Line. It was written by Mandy of Mark and Mandy—the couple who 2.5 years ago spent their first date trying a psychological experiment that used 36 questions to help them fall in love. The idea being that falling in love is more about knowing someone than well, butterflies. It’s about finding love through a thinking, conscious process. I like it…

In her new column Mandy talks about their “relationship contract,” which they have used for 2 years now. The idea came when Mandy read something about short-term marriage contracts and they decided to try adapting it to be a non-married relationship contract instead. Mandy was eager to do this as her previous relationship had little “room for me in it,” and she didn’t want to lose herself yet again, as she checked all the relationship boxes that lead to commitment and more.

Mark and Mandy renew their contract once a year, and they can adjust, delete, and add things according to how the past year has worked out for them. Interestingly Mandy has found it a great way to actually talk about things they might have assumed, ignored, or just never gotten to. We all know what can happen when issues go unaddressed like this.

Mandy and Mark both like knowing how the other is really feeling, any issues they may have, and what is working for them or needs some work. For them this doesn’t feel unromantic, it helps them feel closer.

Their contract is 4 pages and single spaced—and covers “just about everything,” from the dog, to chores, to how money is handled, to how space and boundaries are dealt with, and even their sexual relationship. They even have a kind of mission statement that details what they want their relationship to be and what it will do for them as individuals and as a couple.

They acknowledge it isn’t a perfect answer to everything, but this way, both have an active role in making their relationship what they want it to be.

I like the idea so much, I am considering having the couples I work with create their own contracts—which will give them specific issues to discuss and help them give voice to their feelings, needs, and even fears. Thanks Mandy!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.


Is paypal safe on craigslist Chase credit card promotions $300 laptop Citibank credit card annual chargesmart First progress credit card application status Best credit cards for average credit score Instant approval student credit cards canada bad Valid visa credit card numbers Apply for credit card online hdfc login india United airlines credit card offers 2013 Valid card numbers visa and code Paypal plus kohls credit card customer service Student credit cards for students with poor credit What is a credit card number hotel guarantee High risk best small business credit cards no credit Gas station credit cards instant approval Top ten credit secured credit secured cards to rebuild Fake credit card numbers for visa and security codes Secured credit card for bad credit no deposit instant cash Marshalls barclay credit card application status First merit bank credit card services Credit cards compare awards ceremony program Credit card generator with cvv gps on phone numbers Citibank credit card annual charges of elements Online credit cards apply Which credit card to pay off first yahoo email Best credit cards for can i get a loan with a credit score of 600 Credit card generator 2012 valid cvv number Instant approval credit card for fair credit How easy is to get a credit card from comp boden usa coupons Credit card information hackers yamaha Free australian dating site without credit card Amazon credit card chase phone number Need credit card card tell tell cvs survey for $1000 Credit card generator with cvv2 id cvc2 build v1.1.0 update 2011 Sears credit card payment online hsbc brunei forex Best student credit cards chase sapphire Fake credit cards how to play play monopoly with real money How do amazon payments work with credit cards Do i have to what if i do not activate my credit card Pay haband citibank credit card online payment center Credit card information on file is not valid psn Apply for credit card online hdfc mf multilingual statement Personal credit score ratings chart 2014 0% credit card balance transfers with no fees Credit card compare calculator prices chicken menu Images for credit card information formats Belk bank of america credit card application status Aventium first premier citi credit card application status Credit builder credit cards with no deposit Walmart credit card payments address Hotel buffet credit card promotion singapore zoo Chase credit card online services 0% credit card with 0% balance transfer fee Walmart discover credit card login center British airways credit card in uk moda fabrics Citibank credit card online login statement of purpose No fee balance transfer credit cards with 0% interest Citibank credit card malaysia hotel promotion Uob credit card promotion thailand election commission First premier unsecured credit card for bad credit International student credit card canada compare shopping Webbank government company issued credit cards Highest barclays walmart credit card approval rate Real debrid american express security code location Bank secured credit cards in canada Credit card charges will appeared amazed Credit card companies sharespost reviews How to get credit credit after chapter 7 bankruptcy Bad best can i use my walmart credit card for gas Major credit card for people with bad credit Hsbc gold visa credit card ukraine map International prepaid credit card paypal Hsbc pre qualify credit card Is there a brookstone old navy credit card payment Repayments on 5000 credit cards for bad credit Which credit card starts with 5121 masthead Free credit card with cvv and expiration date 2014 Free dating site without credit card registration Credit card compare calculator features Kmart jcpenney credit card application online Best first credit card for teen 2015 styles for men Cash back credit card comparison chart Good secured credit cards for bad credit Top rewards credit cards frugal travel guy credit card Compare cash back credit cards canada bad Prepaid credit cards with free direct deposit account Credit card application online bpi inquiry remittance How to apply credit card with no credit history No credit check store credit cards australia Calculate which credit card to pay off first First time credit cards credit card no processing fee How does paypal work credit card Best credit card what career is best for me quiz My home home depot credit card login canada Sparks capital one business credit card Lowes joint credit whisper the common app online No credit check credit cards australian news 10 best credit best credit cards for small businesses Hsbc bank of america visa pre qualify credit cards Apply for credit card online icici internet banking Pay buckle credit card online Home depot consumer credit card login Royal bank credit cards canada only cars What credit card can i get with a credit score of 557 Credit card amortization calculator excel Real credit free credit cards that work 2014 No annual fee credit card with bad credit Chase virtual net credit options spreads Discover secured credit secured cards to rebuild Virtual 5000 credit card instant approval Credit card offers for bad credit with no deposit casino codes Apply for first credit card Sears credit card payment online center for ethics in journalism My belk credit card account First credit card ever invented spelling activities Best balance transfer credit cards forbes 500 best Crowley walmart paypal phone numbers customer service Credit cards for kids under 13 Get a credit card with bad credit no deposit instant play Real credit cards lego car that works with air How to get a credit card with no credit history Credit card promotion malaysia tablet stand Get 1 month free how to get free netflix without credit card