The Right Harmony May Not Be On “e”

Looking to make that “perfect” match with Mr/Ms Right? Remember that there is no secret formula that works for everyone. You need to know what you are looking for, gather some good resources and useful tools and get out there and relate.

e-Harmony was the first major relationship website to use a personality profile to make “scientifically based” matches. Personality profiles are taken and compatible matches are made using their “secret” formula. Due to their unique approach, eharmony got to be one of the largest- and best-known relationship sites. However, as the whole industry has evolved, more sites are creating their own assessment tools and offering services that they claim are equal to or better than- the original.

Having heard many stories about e-harmony from clients and singles that write to me, I have come to the conclusion that it may not be for everyone. Its basic approach is a good one, but one size does not fit all- it has not been a success for everyone. I have heard stories of matches being made with someone who is 10 years older than the person specified was their absolute limit. I also have had at least two clients who were “matched” with someone of a different race or religion- even though they were specific about their feelings regarding these issues. It appears that the “secret formula” is age and color blind and may be myopic in some other areas as well.

e-Harmony claims that it does not factor in physical appearance. This will most likely be a problem for everyone who is simply not attracted to some of the physical types they are matched with. Physical chemistry is an important element of attraction- though not the only one. You know how you LOVE your best friend- but not THAT way? Obviously we click on some important levels with the people we choose to spend time with, be friends with, love and live with. e-Harmony may want to go into the roommate search business and/or help singles to meet new friends and build supportive and good-fitting support systems. If they plan to continue to make romantic matches, they may need to re-think their assessment and make sure they consider this critical dimension of romantic connections.

My advice? Get out there and check out different online dating sites. Browse the profiles and get a sense of how well the site guards your privacy and what kinds of people it attracts. If you have a “special” interest, look for a site that specializes in matching people who have this interest- (animal lovers, techies, etc) If you can find some sites that offer a free membership or have many members who are in your area, you may want to put these at the top of your list for consideration. Size is important, but so is quality. Shop around and consider more than one.
Then write a “killer” profile, regularly surf through and look for compatible others and respond promptly to any emails you get from interested members.
It will take effort and work on YOUR part. No one can do this for you. Know what you want, can’t live with and what your negotiable are. Then put your best foot forward. Mr/Ms Right may be just a few clicks away…

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