Friendship, Love and Timing
Ellen McCarthy of the Washington Post writes a great column titled, “On Love.” On Sunday, June 28th, Ellen tells the story of 2 people (Kay Ann & Brian) who met in college, were good friends, but had “no chemistry”- then connected again at the age of 29 and fell in love and got married.
What’s really interesting about their story is that they both readily agree that they had so much in common and were very compatible as friends. Both had an interest in DC and politics, and both were involved in their school’s debate club. He had a relationship with a woman back home, but it ended after a few years- and when they graduated, they just lost touch.
Turns out they both stayed in DC, both had careers in republican politics- and their offices were blocks apart- yet years passed with no contact. She just happened to see his name when she was doing some research, and she emailed him. They got together, went out as friends- and then one night- something just happened. The way they tell it, it was just a moment when he asked for a kiss, and their relationship fell into a romantic pace after that.
So, what changed? Kay Ann and Brian say it’s that they realized how compatible they are, and that things just clicked in a new way for them. My take on it is that timing plays a bigger role than many folks realize. How many people would have chosen their mates differently if they had made the choice when they were in a different phase of their life? When they were in school, they were looking for physical sparks instead of friendship. Perhaps they did not believe that physical attraction could co-exist with great friendship- a belief held by far too many people. Somehow, the life experiences they had in their 20’s opened their minds to a new view of relationships and helped them to see each other anew.
If you have a great friend who is also attractive and available, don’t dismiss the possibilities just yet. It may be that the timing isn’t quite right, or that they are just not able to see you as anyone but their good buddy. So, go out and date other people, but stay in touch. When the time is just right, that right moment could come for you.