Women are always asking; “What do guys want in a woman?” I thought I could help answer that by taking a closer look at the traits that attracted men to Jillian Harris, the most recent bachelorette on ABC. Jillian was characterized as someone that “everyone loves,” and she ended the show with three great guys sharing that they had fallen in love with her. There were also a number of guys who were sent home who admitted to being crazy about her, and as I watched and listened I asked myself; “What is it about Jillian that men love.”
I have watched many of the past seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette- not all, but many. Often they conclude with a scene in which the final person is chosen and they profess their undying love- which usually lasts a few weeks or months, maybe. Each segment has its share of characters, would be stars, neurotics, and others who are thought to be there for reasons other than a desire to find true love. Often there is a sense that no real attachments have been formed and that it is easy for everyone to walk away.
In the Jillian season, it seemed that right from the start there was electricity as she walked into the room. Not only is she a very attractive woman, she is bright, sincere, cute, bubbly, outgoing, adventurous and kind. Her magnetism seemed strong as she interacted with the guys, and the chemistry was heavy right from the first cocktail party. There was just SOMETHING about Jillian right from the start. In the previous season, she was not even the runner up with Jason, yet she was the overwhelming choice for the next season, but why?
Looks are important, and Jillian is great looking, but so are many women. Intelligence and career success are something men find very attractive, yet many women who are unsuccessful in love, possess these. So, (drum roll, please) what is unique about this woman? Based on what men have been telling me for years, what I saw on the show, and the traits I saw in Jillian- I believe her greatest assets are her sense of adventure, her positive and upbeat temperament, and her caring and nurturing nature. Men love women who are fun and easy to be with- as opposed to drama queens and whiners, who are often high maintenance, critical and demanding. Men also look for women who would nurture and care for them and for any future children, not women who are just looking for a guy to take care of them. Men are drawn to women that their parents/families and friends would like, the kind of girl who would easily fit into the family and who would share the same values and goals for the future. Jillian had all these and more.
If you are a woman looking to make that right love connection, reflect on who you are and what you project to others around you. If you have had negative feedback from ex lovers, friends and/or family regarding how you come across or treat others- set a goal to begin making small changes now, today, this minute. Think about the kind of person you would want to have as your life partner- and work to become that person