The Art of Intimacy
A Newsletter for those seeking relationship help.

Welcome

WELCOME
It's hard to believe that Hanukkah is almost over and Christmas is only a few days away. Another year is ending--has yours lived up to your expectations on New Year's 2014? There's an old but great truism that "if you keep doing what you've been doing, you will continue to get the same results." Therefore, to anyone out there who is dissatisfied with your dating or relationship life--think about doing something different in the coming year. Notice I said different, not necessarily more. I have worked with so many people who burn themselves out trying to meet that right person or who are struggling with a relationship that is not working--yet they keep at it, over and over. More really can be and often is less--it's all in the way you go about trying to make those changes you seek.

If you are single and experiencing the holiday blues, you may want to read my articles written just for singles. You can find them on: http://www.consum-mate.com/article.php?id=70&catid=12 and http://www.consum-mate.com/article.php?id=69&catid=12

In honor of the holidays I thought I'd write about something positive and hopefully, useful. No matter what your current relationship status is, it's the holidays and you want to experience them and have a good time doing it. So grab the person you are newly dating, your partner or spouse, your friend crush, or your FWB--and experience some holiday themed fun, peace and (maybe) magic this season.

Our dating and relationship articles are very popular and offer a wealth of practical advice. You can find these on the left menu at http://www.consum-mate.com/ We are always adding more articles so check back frequently. Feel free to visit our media page at http://www.consum-mate.com/newsroom.htm where we keep a sample of our media quotes.

If you want to check me out on Twitter, you can find me there at https://twitter.com/CoachToni Examples of my media quotes can be found on: http://www.consum-mate.com/newsroom/in-news.php Samples of recent ones are frequently added. If you are looking for more relationship advice, you can find this on my page at: http://www.consum-mate.com/articleindex.php?s=c My columns also runs on Family Share at: http://familyshare.com/authors/toni

A special thanks to all of you for subscribing to this newsletter. Consider forwarding it to a friend or loved one seeking dating or relationship advice, but please don?t sign anyone up without their express permission.

Quote of the Month

"There's something about a holiday that isn't all about how much money you spend." --Hilarie Burton

Featured Article: Ten great holiday "dates" for singles, couples and friends

Dating during the holiday season can be a special treat. Of course, in order to fully experience this you may need to re-order some priorities and make time for downtime, play and fun. Don't give into the temptation to put your social life on hold until after the New Year. Manage those work projects and family demands in a way that leaves you open to try some of the fun-filled and potentially romantic and intimacy enhancing activities that are available at this time of year.

The following 10 date ideas should help put you in the mood and may even inspire you to come up with a few on your own. You can enjoy many of these from just after Thanksgiving through New Years Day.

1. Have a "progressive" dinner together. Go to one place for your appetizer, another (romantic and intimate) place for your dinner; and then have dessert and coffee (nightcap), in a quiet spot with a beautiful view of holiday lights or other holiday views. Even better, go by cab or limo, so you have all your time to focus on each other and don't have to worry about all the driving.

2. Take a holiday tour of historic homes in your area. Many areas of the country have these. Often they are done in the evening by candlelight. Afterwards, you can go for a walk and view the surrounding neighborhood lights and decorations. Finish with coffee in a quiet bistro.

3. Get dressed up and attend a holiday concert or play. You can spend a lot or very little on this kind of date, depending where you go for the entertainment. A nice little before or after meal fills out the evening.

4. Go out for hot chocolate; then go look at Christmas lights or displays available in your area. Many places have dazzling displays that light up the night.

5. Go ice skating together. Find a nice place, not too crowded. This brings out the playful side and encourages a lot of interaction between you. Hold hands, show off, race- be kids again!

6. Attend a religious service together. This could be accomplished by going to a place of worship that one (or both) of you belong to; or you could go to a non-denominational service. An evening service, followed by a supper in an intimate restaurant could fill you with a sense of well-being and peacefulness.

7. Throw a small holiday get-together with a few other couples, friends, or your group. Plan an activity such as trimming the tree or lighting the menorah. Be sure to serve festive food and drink. A bonus would be to have a secret Santa gift exchange. This would be where each person brings a gift (.00 or less). Everyone picks a number and the person with number one begins with first selection. Go through all the numbers and open each gift in front of the group. Exchanging is fine and provides some extra fun. Lots of laughs and very interactive.

8. Choose your or his/her/their place, stay home, rent old holiday classics, light the fire and cook a simple but festive meal. Play holiday music while you cook. Then watch (a few if you like) holiday favorites together. Or, you can bake Christmas cookies or other holiday treats together while listening to music and enjoying the fire.

9. Work at a soup kitchen one day (meal) together. Sharing the experience of giving is a wonderful way to get to know someone and deepen a relationship. It is also a great way to get into the true holiday spirit. After the cleanup, go for a walk followed by coffee or a nightcap.

10. Go to a planetarium (if one is nearby). Enjoy the spectacular winter sky together. There is usually a guided "show" that you can experience as you sit closely. Try to pick out constellations together as you walk back to your car. It is always nice to have an intimate meal afterwards.

See if you can add some ideas of your own to this list. Then put aside several evenings over the next two weeks and awaken those feelings (and maybe relive) those experiences you remember from an earlier time in your life.

Happy Holidays!

End Notes

This month's article was written to help any readers who are dealing with feelings of apathy, of a sense of being on the outside and/or a feeling of dread around the holiday season. When life is working for us the holidays can be a time of great joy, but when it's not, they can be a time of sadness and disappointment. It's not too late to try something new or different this year. All you need is a willing friend or significant other to join in.

If you would like more personalized help to deal with the holiday blues--email us at lifechangecoach@verizon.net We have a lot of experience helping people to find ways to make the changes that will lead to a happier and more satisfying life. Also feel free to browse the site and read the many columns and articles archived there. We look forward to hearing from you and offering any assistance we can.

CONTACT INFORMATION

Toni Coleman, LCSW
Consum-mate.com
Phone: 703-847-1768
E-mail: Toni@consum-mate.com
Web: http://consum-mate.com

© Copyright 2008-2015 Antoinette Coleman. All rights reserved.

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