More on communicating Interest

Dear Toni--

I've been friends with this woman for a while now. In the last few months, I've been having feelings, other than friendship, for her. We get along really well and I think she may be feeling something more, too. How can I bring this up without risking our present relationship if she is not romantically into me?
--Unsure of Risking it

Dear Unsure of Risking it--

You two are friends. You have a good foundation for open and honest communication. If this were any other issue, how would you go about discussing it? Your answer would probably be, "in an honest and straightforward manner."

So, this is how you tell her how you feel. Be honest, direct, but not pushy. Give her space to respond honestly.

The friendship and respect you already share should allow for any discussion that may follow to go as well as possible. Yes, you could get hurt. But at least you will know where your relationship stands. Then the two of you decide what comes next, if anything.

(from June 2003)

Want to read other columns on this subject?

"Communicating Interest vs Coming On Too Strong"
List of more
"Help With Dating"

"How Do You Know When You Have Met "The One?""


Toni Coleman, LCSW
Phone: 703-847-1768


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