Tempted to cheat? Get a better job

Christin Munsch from the University of Connecticut is a sociologist and author of a new study on the economics of sexual infidelity. In a nutshell, her research found that the greater the income gap between what a couples makes, the more likely it is that one of them will have an affair. Not really surprising is that when the woman is the primary earner, the likelihood of infidelity s higher than if the man earns more or is the sole breadwinner. Ms. Munsch calls this “masculine overcompensation.” Put in simple terms, men have issues when their wives are the primary breadwinners. Guess most of us knew this instinctively. Guys don’t like being dependent on women and this study shows it can lead to them seeking other ways to feel good about themselves.

Women also are more likely to have an affair if their spouse earns much more money than they do or is the sole breadwinner, and men who earn a high income and are the sole provider also have affairs more often than, say, guys who earn less and/or about the same as their wives.

So who isn’t cheating according to this study? Couples who both work outside the home and have comparable salaries. Hopefully couples who have this income disparity won’t jump to conclusions about what their partner might be up to. Women won’t be checking the computer and his cell phone for evidence of infidelity and he won’t be wondering what she is up to at home when he is out at work. After all, this study may offer clues to what contributes to cheating but it doesn’t mean a couple is doomed if they fit the infidelity profile found here.

There are many variables that could be contributors here and this study should be followed up with other research that goes further and looks at what else could be in play here. Things like boredom, opportunity, depression, stress and overload, feeling taken for granted or undervalued—could all be issues for couples who have very different schedules, roles, demands on their time and energy, and either more freedom from household duties or less pressure from financial burdens. In other words, they could be miles apart in their day to day lives which can lead to losing touch with one another on a number of different levels.

My take away is that all couples need to be conscious of the importance of checking in with one another, acknowledging the contributions of their partner, not taking their partner for granted, and understanding that whatever role each has, it is critical to the health and well-being of their home/family life.

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of http://consum-mate.com Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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