Do you know your partner’s love language?

Many of you are probably familiar with the great book, The 5 Love languages. If not, it’s about how we express love in different ways (he identifies 5), and that knowing what yours is and how it may work well with or clash with that of your significant other can help your relationship. It’s a brilliant work that really can help all couples to improve their intimate communication/relationship.

Today is Valentine’s Day, and by now too many people are sad, angry or just plain disappointed that their partner either doesn’t care, doesn’t get it, or just doesn’t consider them enough of a priority. This is where knowing one’s love language and that of one’s partner could make a huge difference. If one partner believes that when someone loves you they buy you expensive gifts, while the other thinks it’s all about using the right words, giving flowers, and/or doing something nice like making a special dinner—fireworks could happen, and not the good kind.

If you can identify your partner’s love language, use it to speak to them on this day and the other 364 days of the year. Say “I love you” in a language they understand that will tell them you care about how they feel and what matters to them, not just what is comfortable or easy for you. It may seem to simple, but knowing what your S.O.’s values are is an important foundation to healthy communication.

What better way to get a handle on this than February 14th?

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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