The season for hygge

When was the last time you were hygge? No, it’s not some new age trend that is all the rage, then quickly vanishes. Instead it is a decades old Danish and Scandinavian practice of “joining with a loved one in a relaxed and intimate atmosphere.” Think cozy fire on a cold night, a good bottle of wine to share, candlelight and maybe soft music in the background, and all around, a stillness that brings an in the moment experience of peace and intimate sharing. And what better time to get hygge than during these bitter cold days of winter (at least for many of us).

If this sounds like an unrealistic scene from a ROM-COM, or someone else’s love life, but never yours—you should consider upping your game. Hygge is all the rage, with everyone wanting to experience it—and why not, achieving it is a realistic goal for everyone.

You can begin by making sure your home and surroundings set the right scene for relaxing, getting comfortable and indulging yourself with down time, good drink and food, a good book, and a fire or other relaxing focal point. Once your environment is ready, all you need to do is step into it, shed your worries and thoughts of anything else, and allow contentment to wash over you.

This might seem complicated, but in fact it is just the opposite. You get hygge by simplifying, shedding, reflecting on what you are grateful for and what is good in your life, and staying completely present and in the moment. Once you have given yourself the space, time, and permission to do this, you will begin to look forward to every hygge experience ahead.

Once you are a master hygge practitioner, invite someone you really like to join you. Set the scene, keep it simple, and just BE in the same space and time—with no need for explanations or clarifications on your “relationship,” “status,” and/or “what this is or where it is going.” Just being together in the moment will bring a feeling of intimacy and a shared peace. You can cook a simple meal together, listen to music, and/or enjoy good drink—just keep it simple and real. Your only take away afterward should be how nice that was, whatever it was, and a desire on both of your parts to try it again.

How many times have you or someone you know made fun of those online profiles that talk about sharing a warm fire and a good glass of wine? What about the ones describing long walks on an empty beach or a picnic by a lake or in the woods? Maybe folks made fun because it seemed like a scene from a movie or romance novel—trite and unrealistic. If so, think again. True peace and happiness can only be found while you are fully present, in the moment—hopefully sharing it with a special someone or someone you think could become special.

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of http://consum-mate.com Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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