When Mr. Good Enough is just right

Are you a single female who wants marriage and family, but you just can’t seem to find that “perfect” guy? If so, there’s some good news out there. In early 2015 evolutionary researchers at Michigan State University found that it is in our nature to go with a safe bet when our options may be limited regarding what we really want. In other words, if we want something badly enough, we will make it happen. According to Chris Adami from MSU, if people (from our earliest ancestors) “chose to wait, they risked never mating.” This was and apparently still is, a good reason for finding Mr. Good Enough.

The study used a model that traced risk-taking behavior, back through thousands of generations of evolution using digital organisms. These organisms were programmed to make bets with high stakes payoffs, and apparently, they were less willing to take risks on things that were life altering, like not choosing a mate and never having children. If they held out for perfect they risked being left empty handed, or in this case, with an empty cradle.

Depending on your age and circumstances, the word “settling” may be drifting through your thoughts, but if you think about it, this is very black and white thinking that we tend to move away from as we mature and become more realistic. “Perfect’, really? There is no such thing, ever. You may also be thinking that you can have a child without a partner and/or marriage. While this is true, it’s a much harder road, and most women want the partner for the sake of having that intimate connection and relationship, and for many a desire to create a family with him.

It is interesting to note that it has also been found that we are less risk adverse if we were raised in a smaller social group/community than if we come from a large group (family/community). It’s those who have many connections who are more willing to take risks like holding out for Mr. Perfect. So the environment plays a role as it does in virtually everything. There are people from similar backgrounds who range in willingness to take risks, but again, if we were to examine their individual experiences and how their unique interactions with the world around them impacted them, it’s a sure bet we would see differences that help explain why their response to risk varies.

Therefore, the good news is that it’s in our nature to let go of perfect and find good enough. This is great news because if we waited for perfect, the human race would likely die out. It also puts a new spin on that old “desperate” belief. People who go for good enough often end up with choices that make them happy and lead to satisfaction in their lives. Others who hold out for Mr. Right, can end up alone and looking back at all the good guys that they passed over while waiting for “the one.”