The Tinder date

First dates usually conjure up two very opposing feelings and attitudes. Some people enjoy dating, meeting new people, experiencing the thrill of wondering if this person could end up being the person—but for others, dating is a necessary evil in their quest to find love.

And that was the way it used to be, when dating was a lot more simple and straightforward and people actually asked/got asked out, and planned a date which included a get to know one another activity that lasted more than 15 minutes.

Then along came online meeting and dating, which added the challenge of deciding to meet someone based on their profile, a series of emails, and/or phone calls. That first meeting was arranged with a virtual stranger and often resulted in a hit or miss for the two people involved.

Now we have dating apps. Feel in the mood to meet someone new? Sign on to the app, see who is nearby, check out their picture and VERY LIMITED information—and rush off to meet them. On any given night in Singles rich cities everywhere, Tinder couples are arranging quick meets in bars, coffee places and restaurants. It’s not uncommon for someone to walk in, see the other person (in person) and head out the door before they are seen. Then there are the 5 minute “interviews,” where two people sit and talk and after a few minutes, don’t feel the connection. For others, they might linger over a drink or coffee, liking what they are seeing and hearing, but not committing to a meal or another drink.

There are many singles who arrange several of these “dates” in one night. Must be hard to keep everyone’s information and names straight. Of course we do hear about couples who are engaged and married who met on Tinder—with these odds, it can’t be easy to achieve that.

With a dating culture like this one, it’s a wonder that anyone even bothers. It’s enough to leave you longing for a quiet corner at home and a good book, or out searching for meaningful experiences that would bring you into contact with real-life singles who you can get to know the old-fashioned way.

Author: Toni Coleman

Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC is an internationally recognized dating and relationship expert and founder of http://consum-mate.com Her expertise is sought frequently by local and national publications and top ranked dating and relationship websites and she has been a guest on a number of radio and TV programs. She is the featured relationship coach in “The Business and Practice of Coaching,” (Norton, September 2005); the author of the forward for, “Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life, One Touchdown at a Time;” (Simon and Schuster, November 2005) - and her popular relationship articles can be found in several magazines and a number of self- help, personal growth and dating/relationship websites. Toni holds a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, is a licensed psychotherapist in the state of Virginia, and earned a certification in life coaching.

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