Tag: Tinder

What does Tinder have that dating websites do not?

If you are single and dating and are not familiar with Tinder, you are rare indeed. Tinder has been ranked as the #1 most downloaded lifestyle app for 2 years and counting. Yet if offers little information to users about potential matches. So why is it so popular?

For many folks it is like a drug—you take a hit and then another and get instant satisfaction. There is no delaying gratification as on dating websites where you post a profile, wait for others to respond, read through their profiles, send an email, wait for a response, chat online, maybe chat by phone for a bit—and then possibly agree to that first face-to-face meeting.

Tinder on the other hand serves up potential matches based on looks, location, and availability. Profiles often arrive one after the other—and all the user has to do is swipe right or left and wait to see if the other person goes with right or left. If both swipe right, they can meet immediately as they are always in close proximity, which is one Tinder requirement.

In the old days, we would have scoffed at how shallow this approach is dud to it being based on looks and convenience. But were we being honest with ourselves then? Dating success relies heavily on looks and convenience and always has. Now we are just being honest about it and it has become socially acceptable to pursue others based solely on these criteria.

Tinder has gotten smart (greedy) and limits right swipes for those who don’t sign up for premium—so it’s like any addiction, you will need to keep spending to get your high—and Tinder is a big high for its users. Not surprisingly it has been found that men and women come into Tinder dating with different motivations. Yes, some things don’t change. Women buy into the swipe right based on scarce criteria but are often looking for something more than just a fun date. Men on the other hand are more interested in short-term dating and making a lot of fun matches. Therefore guys tend to swipe right more often than women, which means more women get matches delivered to their inbox then men do. The problem is they may not be looking for the same thing and won’t know this until after that first or second date.

Women are more apt to send messages following matches, and they offer more detail in what they share about themselves then men do. Again, not surprising that guys put in less effort as they are more interested in having an encounter than finding that right person to have the encounter with.

Despite these differences, lasting matches are being made and there are more and more marriages that began by swiping right. There are always users of both sexes looking for love and more. And since it is such a popular app—users increase their odds by being there.

So you will still have to meet and connect with a few frogs, but Prince Charming could absolutely be out there. The elements of luck and timing have always been part of dating and this is the case here as well.

So get active, swipe right when interested and actively engage in those first meetings, putting forth your best true self. Mr or Ms Right are out there somewhere and there is a high probability they are using Tinder right now.

The Tinder date

First dates usually conjure up two very opposing feelings and attitudes. Some people enjoy dating, meeting new people, experiencing the thrill of wondering if this person could end up being the person—but for others, dating is a necessary evil in their quest to find love.

And that was the way it used to be, when dating was a lot more simple and straightforward and people actually asked/got asked out, and planned a date which included a get to know one another activity that lasted more than 15 minutes.

Then along came online meeting and dating, which added the challenge of deciding to meet someone based on their profile, a series of emails, and/or phone calls. That first meeting was arranged with a virtual stranger and often resulted in a hit or miss for the two people involved.

Now we have dating apps. Feel in the mood to meet someone new? Sign on to the app, see who is nearby, check out their picture and VERY LIMITED information—and rush off to meet them. On any given night in Singles rich cities everywhere, Tinder couples are arranging quick meets in bars, coffee places and restaurants. It’s not uncommon for someone to walk in, see the other person (in person) and head out the door before they are seen. Then there are the 5 minute “interviews,” where two people sit and talk and after a few minutes, don’t feel the connection. For others, they might linger over a drink or coffee, liking what they are seeing and hearing, but not committing to a meal or another drink.

There are many singles who arrange several of these “dates” in one night. Must be hard to keep everyone’s information and names straight. Of course we do hear about couples who are engaged and married who met on Tinder—with these odds, it can’t be easy to achieve that.

With a dating culture like this one, it’s a wonder that anyone even bothers. It’s enough to leave you longing for a quiet corner at home and a good book, or out searching for meaningful experiences that would bring you into contact with real-life singles who you can get to know the old-fashioned way.