When couples marry the last thing they probably ever imagine is that they might end up sleeping in separate bedrooms. Historically, sleeping apart has been seen as a marital red flag. It meant that a couple was no longer intimate or were in such a bad place that they needed to have their own space- to stay married but live as separately as possible.
Now there is evidence that this is not necessarily the case at all. Good Morning America did a segment on couples who have helped their relationships by sleeping in separate bedrooms. They made the decision because their sleeping habits were so misaligned that it was leading to sleeplessness, arguments, and increasing anger and conflict. According to Arianne and Nate Cohen, who were guests on the show- sleeping apart has brought them closer. By having their own rooms they have each found greater privacy and autonomy without the other having to sacrifice in order for that to happen.
Apparently 30 to 40 percent of couples sleep apart at night due to snoring and clashing bedtimes and evening routines. Couples sleeping apart report that the decision to do so helped to save their marriages and allowed each of them to take better care of their own needs without creating greater distance from their partner. They report that their sex lives have improved and the resentment that used to come between them has lessened to the extent that their marriages are better than they ever were. They still get to cuddle, share some pillow time- then separate as each follows the routine that best suits them and leaves them feeling refreshed and renewed in the morning.
If you find you are having difficulty negotiating bedroom time in the evenings with your significant other and/or can’t get a good night’s rest due to their routines or sleeping behavior- try sleeping apart. All you give up is the time you will spend dreaming- peacefully, contentedly and soundly.